Lion's Golden Heart

Courage ignites inside me,
When my hand joins yours.

It thaws the layers of ice,
Around a protected heart.

My heart shines of gold,
It glints showing the world a me that's been hiding.

I can let loose the beast my renewed courage revealed.
I can let loss feelings I refused to show.
I can be me because I don't have to fear.

Everything goes two ways.
You have shown me the best and worst.
Your courage and life ignite like you have done for me.

Urge

I have the urge to run away,
To run as fast as I can.
To get rid of the pain that flows inside,
And breathe in the freshness of the air.

I have the urge to climb the tallest tree,
To feel the bark against my hand.
To have it crumple under my boots,
And sleep under the stars glistening above.

I have this urge, this drive, to just lay in bed with you.
To forget the faltered world around us.
To finally feel your touch on my face,
And search endlessly into your pale eyes.

I have this urge to cry,
To feel my nose and eyes burning from the tears.
To heave and shudder as I break,
And hope and trust that I can stop.

I have this urge to leave,
To feel free and start anew.
To have a tabula rasa and a new attitude,
And to feel the gentle touch of your caressing touch at last.

Let Go

It's time to let go.
Let the boulder roll.
Down,
Down,
Down the hill, and the emotions will gather.
Those chemicals bubble inside your head,
Release them as whatever they are.

Let happiness spread the warmth;
Let sadness cool it;
Let anger boil over;
Let envy show its ugly green head;
Let silliness make your brain numb with your laughter;
Let confusion make you dizzy.

Most of all, let the feeling of love burn.
Let it burn bright like fire,
Like a guiding light.
Don't let it burn you out with irrational flight.

Let the boulder roll.
Down,
Down,
Down the hill.
Let go and release what you will down.

The Smile

For J.J.

It sparkles like pearls.
It is only for me to notice.
A smile that melts the ice;
The ice protecting my heart.

Only at me, it shows.
Only at me, I see.
Coming and going, I see it shows.

The warmth emanating from you alone,
Tingles.
The smile you show up with,
Intensifies the warmth.

I feel lucky.
Lucky that you are there.
Lucky that you pass by.
Lucky to be graced by that charming smile.

Sonnet J

For J

I cannot find the words to express you.
And yet I can always find them nearby.
It has taken a month; you have no clue,
That I set my feelings aside to fly.

I had to break the silence; I must try.
In you very hand, my proverbial heart.
The very secret I hide, covered a lie.
It is for you that my pen makes this art.

That you, of all men, give me a jump-start.
Your warm embrace, I do feel more alive.
I fear the day that comes when you depart.
You kiss is what I want to feel in drive.

My eye for you is of smarts and beauty,
It is you I attract, then be flirty.

We Haven't Talked in Awhile

For Z.J.H.


The very person that made my heart soar higher,
The very person who knows my soul,
The very person who can look me in the eye and
tell me how he really feels.
We haven't talked in a while.

It feels like forever,
Even if it's been a couple months.
I often look to the stars to think that
you, too, are looking at them with me.

I loved you when I was with someone else.
I couldn't help it...
You have my heart beating inside of yours.
In truth, I must venture a guess that I never loved him.

I would see your picture every night I talked to him.
I had abandoned you,
I had hurt you in some way.
I needed your forgiveness.
I needed to see your face.
I needed to see your dazzling smile...

I still hold onto memories of us that night.
Our first of many kisses strung together in the rain.
You're the light that keeps me going from day-to-day.
It turned off, and I lost my way.
Lost in the forest of confusion.
A confusion that was caused by the move of my folks.

Nothing stops me from weaving these words together.
I will spill my heart out, and the world will know.
I need to see that you are loved.
I need to see the light in your brown eyes.
I need to feel your red hair through my fingers.

I want your heart to soar with mine.
I want your love to surround me like your embrace.
I want you to notice that I need you to love me back.

Jenni's Journey at Its End

 For Jenni Lake and her family

I never knew who you were, but your story touched me.
Just like I'll never know the inner pain you felt as the cancer slowly took you away.
I'll never know the thoughts going through your mind as you fell into a never-ending sleep.

Even in death, you still touch hundreds of hearts of the struggles in your journey.
You fought and fought until the end, you were at war, but in the end you really won.
 You had love...

Love from your oldest sister...

Love from your family...

Love from your friends...

And most of all love from your baby boy for years to come.

Cancer will never feel that kind of love.
As we mourn for you, we'll all have a secret smile on our faces because you are in a better place.

My message for Ashlee, paint a smile on your face and remember every chance you get the things you two did.
Smile, love, and know we are there for you.