Just Take My Hand

For T.B.

I see you smile through the darkness,
Against the eerie pale light of the moon.
The mountains outlined in jagged darkened lines.

You see me and my heart leaps,
And I smile back.
In your company, I am shining.
Shining like the sun, in its brilliance.

You hold me like the sky.
Your touch so light it makes me fly.
Your kiss so gingerly placed it helps me float higher.

I see your pain through your eyes,
Your words so carefully were chosen.
I feel it run in my veins,
With which I want to reverse for you.

I keep you in my thoughts,
Not wanting to ever let you go,
Your trust is building for me, and I smile still proudly.

I brighten your sky,
Showing you the silver linings strewn within you.
I want you to help you get stronger,
I want to be yours to keep.

Just take my hand,
And let me prove that I am made to trust.

Something in Your Eyes

For T.B.

It's like magic,
In your mysterious eyes.
Something,
That makes me smile.

The way they shine,
Makes me wonder what you're thinking.
What you think,
When I'm not there with you.

Your smile,
It sears my mind brightly.
It's cheesy, but it's naturally tasty.
The kind of smile that makes me blush.

The way you hold my hand,
Let's the electricity flow through my nerves freely.
The way you lean in to kiss me,
Let's the chemicals in my brain bubble with fervor.

The way your forehead crinkles in concentration,
Your mind playing notes as the translation to your instrument, creating music.
Beautiful memory,
Down to the earth.

Your nervous humming,
It reminds me of a cat's purr,
Soft and meaningful,
Musical even, down to your last note.

When you hug me,
There's a lump in my throat,
Choking back words and tears.
There is magic in the way my deadened heartbeats.

When you let go,
Say goodbye,
I try to hold you tighter,
With the knowledge that I'll see you again.

Cold Blood and Skin

My blood ran cold,
It is frozen like ice,
Painful like tiny knives through my veins.
I shiver badly, and I'm so cold.

The grip of the cold squeezes all my insides,
None more than my heart.
My skin bursts into bumps,
The vessels in my eye hurt.

Acid-like tears stain my face.
They are caustic and warm enough to melt concrete.
They burn my icy-blue eyes.
I can't stop...

Pain makes me strong,
But it takes time for that.
Time that slows down like molasses down a snowy hill.
Cutting into me harshly like the blood in my body.

The soft pillow on my head,
Gives me comfort as I curl up.
I sleep, in shock, but cold.
Knowing that soon I'll be stronger for it.

At One with the Storm

It is dark,
And charcoal clouds float above me.
It surrounds me,
They surround me.
It swallows me,
They swallow me.

I am in the clouds among the darkened sky.
Thunder makes the sky shudder,
Like an arctic breeze on bare skin.
Lightning cracks the sky,
Like porcelain and paints the black sky with white.

My anger,
It follows the actions of the clouds.
The rise and fall my heart makes,
As it beats in my chest that feels like cold knifes.
Blood makes my ears blaze like fire,
My veins pop out of my arms and neck.

There is no calm before the storm,
I see blood red in my fury.
I feel stiff and I feel shaken,
All this is because I am the storm.

My anger floods into the rain,
Which falls like a river into the sea.
I am crying,
Burning tears that absorb into the clouds.
Then something happens,
It snaps me back to reality.

You kneel beside me,
Your hand on my shoulder.
I calm down,
Out of my mind into reality.
You hold me with an iron-like embrace.

The clouds disappear,
You are still there next to me.
I see your eyes and I cry,
Crestfallen and ashamed at what I had become.
You still hold me,
I am not one with the storm anymore.
You are my sun when the dawn comes,
And my springtime dandelion.

I'm Afraid You Don't Feel the Way I Do

For the person I'm afraid to put initials up

I hear pianos playing,
Softly, sweetly,
In the distance.

I see you dancing,
Among the trees,
To the music.

You turn around,
I see your graceful eyes,
So pretty, like a lake in June.

I'm afraid...
To go to you...
To be with you...

I'm afraid you don't feel the way I do,
My heart so is broken,
It is fragile, like glass.

I'm so far away...
Tears flood my eyes...
I run...

You run, too,
Your face steady, worried,
 Following my trail of tears.

I feel your hand,
I grab tightly to mine.
I don't turn.

You speak,
Sweetly and deeply,
Like the soft music playing.

You tell me,
'It's alright.'
But I'm so scared...

You embrace me,
My head in your chest,
You hum softly to the music.

'This isn't real,'
'This isn't real,'
I tell myself.

In your strong arms,
So surreal,
So perplexing.

I want to rip away,
My anxiety bursting,
I let you hold me still.

You start to dance again,
You take me with you steadily.
Waltzing, like no one, sees us.

You hum still...
I hold tighter...
We slip away...

When it's dark...
You disappear...
I'm along by the tree...

A figment...
I was tricked by my mind...
I collapse in the field by the tree...

I'm tired,
So I sleep in my dream...
Your humming in my ears.

Your words still in my mind,
They ring like the bells of Notre Dame,
'It's alright.'

The pianos...
Their music fading...
You... fade, too.