Stay with me...
Next to me...
Holding my hand...
Holding me...
Tightly and completely.
Stay with me...
Cry and laugh with me...
Fall deeper with me...
In love...
Wholely.
Stay with me...
Break my heart...
Miss me...
Take me back...
Kindly.
Stay with me...
Drunk on love...
Reveal your darker side...
Be you...
Always...
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Thursday, January 17, 2013
Candle Flicker
For M.B.
I see the candle flicker across from me.
Though it smells like "Ocean Flowers."
I know this to be artificial.
I know the ocean doesn't smell that way.
Deep in my memories, I smell salty air.
Which triggers my memories of salty sweat.
Trickling down from your head.
I love the smell.
My train of thought leaves me.
I hurt.
The image of you fades.
I lay in my bed.
Wanting to open up more to you.
Wanting to be held.
Alone.
The next night, the other candle.
It flickers and I smell "Rustic Woods."
Like the other, it is artificial.
I know the woods don't smell that way.
I remember, the smell of pine and ivy.
The sunshine of summer.
A lunch to share.
Birds chirping.
I feel that warmth.
I feel your hand in mine.
The image of that day fade.
Retrospectively it was omnipresent.
Somehow it makes me sadder.
Alone again.
Wanting to be held.
I don't want to feel this way.
I blow it out.
All I can smell is acrid smoke.
Then nothingness and darkness become one.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone...
I must keep these feelings in-check.
I see the candle flicker across from me.
Though it smells like "Ocean Flowers."
I know this to be artificial.
I know the ocean doesn't smell that way.
Deep in my memories, I smell salty air.
Which triggers my memories of salty sweat.
Trickling down from your head.
I love the smell.
My train of thought leaves me.
I hurt.
The image of you fades.
I lay in my bed.
Wanting to open up more to you.
Wanting to be held.
Alone.
The next night, the other candle.
It flickers and I smell "Rustic Woods."
Like the other, it is artificial.
I know the woods don't smell that way.
I remember, the smell of pine and ivy.
The sunshine of summer.
A lunch to share.
Birds chirping.
I feel that warmth.
I feel your hand in mine.
The image of that day fade.
Retrospectively it was omnipresent.
Somehow it makes me sadder.
Alone again.
Wanting to be held.
I don't want to feel this way.
I blow it out.
All I can smell is acrid smoke.
Then nothingness and darkness become one.
Alone.
Alone.
Alone...
I must keep these feelings in-check.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
If I Stay, If I Go
If I stay, I have nothing.
I have nothing, but the friends I made.
I have no opportunity in any arena.
None.
If I stay, I am in despair.
I'm not going to be able to climb out of the hole.
The hole is dark and damp.
I'd have a better chance of living in a cave.
If I go, I will have something.
I'll have more opportunities.
Make new friends.
Be able to live.
If I go, I would be happier.
I would be able to climb out of my despair.
See the light of day and feel the halcyon warmth.
My heart would settle and be whole again.
Yet I'm stuck.
Stuck in the middle.
In the middle of an open field.
I have the tools to cultivate, but I don't know what to grow.
For once the seeds are sown, there is no way to stop them.
I have nothing, but the friends I made.
I have no opportunity in any arena.
None.
If I stay, I am in despair.
I'm not going to be able to climb out of the hole.
The hole is dark and damp.
I'd have a better chance of living in a cave.
If I go, I will have something.
I'll have more opportunities.
Make new friends.
Be able to live.
If I go, I would be happier.
I would be able to climb out of my despair.
See the light of day and feel the halcyon warmth.
My heart would settle and be whole again.
Yet I'm stuck.
Stuck in the middle.
In the middle of an open field.
I have the tools to cultivate, but I don't know what to grow.
For once the seeds are sown, there is no way to stop them.
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