Strong Too Long

You don't know my pain.
You don't look at me like you used to.
Like I'm some terrible monster.
I'm nothing to fear.

I've been strong for too long,
I just want to curl up and scream.
Scream in an abyss in anger and sadness.
Until my voice is hoarse, and I can't no longer.

I want to hear you call for me.
Reach out to me.
Be there to hold me.
And just let me bawl my pretty blue eyes out.

I don't want you to sympathize,
I want you to empathize.
My heart is torn, and I don't feel grounded.
I'm alone, and it tortures me because you feel like home.

I'm coming to the point where my inner strength is weakening.
I'm juggling so much in my head.
I'm stuck in my head, and you draw me out.
I'm about to cry because you grew cold.

You tell me to not over-think everything,
But you don't understand that I can't stop doing so.
You leave me with so little to understand.
Your silence speaks too much.

Just let me scream and cry alone.
I'll make it through alone.
I won't be devastated, just heartbroken.
Heartbroken utterly because I care.

Longing for the Woods, Dreaming of the Sea

No one knows the pain I feel.
The painful loneliness that envelops me like a dark cloud of doubt.
I try to find solace somewhere I can be me.
Somewhere I can cry and let the feelings go.
The woods... my tree... my loneliness can disappear.

This is where my dark side and light side can meet in peace.
This is where I'm at my happiest.
I feel no judgment from the trees around me.
No judgment from the fauna, or the running stream.

To the highest branch I can climb and listen...
Listen to my heart beat as it connects to nature's.
Listen to my thoughts as I watch the magpies make their graceful flight.
Here I can smile truly, cry with no one to listen, and get angry with the nothingness.
Here things make sense to me and I can sleep peacefully on the mossy tree with a cool breeze of winter against my skin.

My heart longs not just for the woods, but by the salty sea.
Sand on my feet, sun on my face, listening to the tide.
A sea to match my irises, another place to sit and listen.
A breeze to break the sun's heat and to blow my curly locks.

The sea calls my name to swim in its depths.
The heart of the ocean beats steady as mine slows down.
Watching as the set while in the water reflects in my eyes.
I have no fear diving down again and holding my breath.
Then coming out refreshed, hair wet, body shimmering in the setting sun.
Finally laying down on the lukewarm sand and fall asleep.

It's just like a dream to end and back in the woods I am.
I look to the starry sky for the answers.
A gentle snow begins and I feel alive!
I never want to leave this place.
I can smile, cry, and get angry.
I don't feel so alone out here in the woods...
No, not at all...
I feel whole again after the pieces of me glue back together.

I am... alive and free.