Depth

I am sinking low.
Into your bathtub of tears.
You save me never.

Ill-Rattled

You chose wrong.
Syringe of chemical hooks versus love.
Your battle lost.
You hurt your chances.

Years upon years,
That is who you preferred over me.
Your ill-riddled brain chose the hooks.
You may as well been cheating.

Cheating me of life,
Cheating me of everything we could have been.
I felt the burn of being on your back burner.

Were we even real?
Was this just another fantasy of mine?
Can I be trusted?
My world spinning out of control. . . .

I saw the needles.
A sight that cannot be unseen.
Etched in my mind.
I'm sorry you chose that instead of me.

I'm sorry you lost me.
I'm sorry you lost my heart.

Void and Shore

For someone . . .

How could I go along this dreary world?
Without you, my thirst is high.
My hunger heightened.
You are elsewhere, while I stare off.

Void, nothing.
I cannot see you . . .
You are lost.
Lost in your own blissful abyss.

I starve for your attention.
I want your love.
Too late.

You push me out of your whirlpool,
My boat forever afloat.
I never thought it'd be like this.
I'm away from you, away from you.

You spiral down.
I drift farther away.
I can't take your pain away . . .
Though it will always be with me.

I bid you farewell, darling.
I hope you make it to shore one day again.

Forest Run

As I run past the trees I am a flutter.
I am home,
Among the pine, the aspens, and willows.
I don't want to stop to take a breather.

From the corner of my eye, I see . . .
A forest nymph?
No, a bird flapping against the wind.
The frigid mountain wind.

My lungs fill up:
Inhale, frozen . . .
Exhale, warmth . . .
Inhale, frozen . . .
Exhale, warmth . . .

I stopped, at last, at the end of my path.
A fallen tree.
I pity it for a minute . . .
Then I start my journey over.

Running, running, running . . .
From an endless loop of thoughts.
As I lay in bed, sleeping a sweet dream of my forest run.

Hidden

There is beauty in the way he walks.
There is a lot to him that most don't think about.
The sensitivity of his words.
The heart on his sleeve.

There is a hidden intelligence;
No one seems to care because they tear him down regardless.
Which leaves and creates something deeper down inside.

The moment he steps through the apartment door, he falls.
Falls from graceful walking to a crumpled mess on the floor.
No one to save him or pick him up.

Depression claws its way up to tearful eyes.
Anxiety prickles underneath fair skin.
All is done, and thoughts end in the meltdown.

Stoic and strand after,
Steeled nerves and better for the fit.
He walks again in grace and beauty.
He walks again, renewed, confident.

Though with courage,
He still fears the depression and anxiety waiting.
Waiting to greet him by the next night's end.

Unbreak My Heart

I wanted it all for you.
I wanted to be everything to you.
I'm guessing that you'll be fine;
Leaving me against the sidelines to cheer you on.

It's a long road, a long way, for me;
Especially from who you were looking for.
Though when you describe your dream man . . .
He sounds like me.

Maybe I shouldn't have been so passive.
Maybe I should've been more understanding of your actions.
My unanswered questions were answered,
But it doesn't stop me from the "what-ifs" that run through my mind.

Maybe I needed to stay with you.
Instead, I distanced myself from you, afraid.
Even has I miss your warm embraces and you, the person.
I can only partially blame myself for the broken heart I have.

Whoever gets to be with you,
Will be lucky.
Whoever this is,
I hope for nothing but the best.
Whoever he is,
I hope he gives you the love I know you deserve.

You can't unbreak my heart;
That's my job, I know now.
No matter who I see you with,
I'll know you're happier with him than you would've been with me.

Seeing Red and Feeling Heat

My fuse, once long, slowly burns away.
Closer to making me explode.
The volcano bubbling and boiling inside me,
Is ready to erupt.

So much packed into me,
So little time to alleviate it.

I want to scream until I'm hoarse.
I want to punch out a wall.
I want to throw a rock so hard that it will shatter,
Falling apart as it slams into the ground.
I want to break glass,
And hope that the pieces shatter into bits.

Revenge isn't the answer to my full-grown anger.
Nor is isolation in my Tower.
The situations I am in call for action.
Actions of kindness and acceptance.

The things I'm angry about shouldn't matter anymore.
Situations in the past must stay there.

Hopefully, once my anger cools there will be a time of peace.
Until then, a long list should be taken care of for now.